Lucy Letby goes berserk as doubts arise over infamous notes in which she ‘confessed’ | UK | News

A series of confessions written by neonatal nurse Lucy Letby, which prosecutors used to convict her of the murder of seven babies, were originally written on the advice of care workers to help her cope with stress, it has been reported.

The notes were a key piece of evidence used in her initial trial to convict her and also in the appeal court, but sources close to the case have since revealed to The Guardian that the notes were produced after attending therapy sessions to process her “disturbing feelings”.

The notes were written on post-its and a torn piece of paper, and were overwritten in various places, sometimes in capital letters to highlight certain words, while also including statements such as, “I am bad, I did this,” “I killed them on purpose because I am not good enough to take care of them and I am a terrible bad person,” and “hate.”

The prosecution, seeking to bring the serial killer to justice, used the notes to build their case against her, even concluding their opening statement by emphasizing the phrase, “I am bad, I did this.” The prosecution subsequently referred to the notes several times during the trial.

Yet the same notes also reflected a different perspective, with different phrases such as “Not good enough”, “Why me?”, “I did nothing wrong” and “Police investigation slander discrimination victimisation”.

In addition to seemingly referencing the crime, Lucy also made several comments about her family, pets, coworkers, and gave multiple examples of suicidal thoughts, using words such as, “End my life right now,” “help,” “despair panic fear lost,” and “I feel very alone and scared,” which provided insight into her mental health at the time.

The letters were presented to the jury as clear admissions of guilt, but they were written on the advice of Kathryn de Beger, head of occupational health at the Countess of Chester Hospital, to help her cope with extreme stress.

According to sources cited by the newspaper, Letby’s GP in Chester also advised her to write down thoughts she couldn’t process.

However, no context was given during her eight-month trial at Manchester Crown Court last year, nor did her defence lawyers provide any.

Letby was convicted last year as Britain’s most notorious serial killer of children. In July, she was found guilty of an eighth murder after a retrial. Police discovered a stack of entries in her personal diary during a search of her home in Blacon.

In addition to these notes, she also wrote numerous diary entries describing the police investigation into the murders. Detectives were reportedly surprised by the sheer volume of texts about the dead children when she was first arrested in June 2018.

Reflecting on the case in a documentary, Detective Constable Rob Woods, who was fond of Cheshire police, said he believed the notes were a “coded system” of her crimes.

He said: “It gave us a really good lead the second time around as to what sort of things we were looking for. So, as an example, something that has been really useful to the investigation is Miss Letby’s diaries.

“That turned out to be the case and later it became clear that it was almost a code of colored stars and all sorts of other things that had been put in a diary that marked important events.”

However, David Wilson, a professor of criminology at Birmingham City University who specialises in serial killers, said he believed the so-called confession letters were “meaningless”.

“Many people say things when they are stressed and feeling deprived that seem to imply but don’t mean anything at all, except that they reflect the underlying stress.”

“I always thought Letby’s notes were meaningless as evidence. If they were written as part of therapy, you could underline that point three times and write it in bold and capital letters,” he added.

Journaling and writing down distressing thoughts has long been a common part of general psychotherapy. It allows patients to take control of their own thoughts and feelings and express them in a safe way.

Richard Curen, president of the Forensic Psychotherapy Society, also admitted that he did not think Letby’s letters were connected to a confession. “Doodle-writing, journalling is a way of gaining control over your thoughts. I don’t think it is connected to a confession of any kind,” he said.

Lucy Letby herself also denied the letters as a confession during her trial, when she explained how she had used them as a tool to understand her feelings.

She said she questioned herself and wondered whether she had unintentionally caused harm by not knowing enough or not being a good nurse, because of what doctors said about her after speculating there was a serial killer on the ward.

The defense also referred to it during the trial, when they argued that they expressed: “Torment, not guilt. A young woman who trained hard to be a nurse … who loved what she did, only to find herself blamed for the deaths of the babies she cared for.”

The Countess of Chester Hospital said it could not comment while the investigation and further tests were ongoing.