Reddit user’s refusal to bow to his ‘militant vegan’ brother’s Thanksgiving demands sparks family drama

A Reddit user who asked for advice after her “militant vegan” brother demanded a completely meat-free Thanksgiving for the entire family is stuck in an incredibly difficult situation, a therapist told Fox News Digital.

“Tell me what’s going on, internet people,” Reddit user “Suspicious-Basil7882” wrote in an Oct. 2 post in Reddit’s “Am I the A–hole” subreddit.

In the post, Suspicious-Basil7882 explained that she is 31 and that her 35-year-old brother Mark “doesn’t get along.”

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When Mark was a teenager, she wrote, he decided to become a vegetarian after watching a documentary about factory farming, and “it quickly became very annoying to him, but my father shut him down when he started trying to eat the rest.” of his life. us to be vegetarian with him.”

This changed after he went to college, “made a bunch of very strange friends and became a militant vegan,” said Suspicious-Basil7882. “It’s his whole personality.”

The two stopped talking after Mark harassed her about having a birthday dinner at a steakhouse, she said, but her parents “tried to patch up the situation.”

The Reddit user said her brother became a “militant vegan” in college. (iStock)

“It seemed like Mark was getting better for a while, so I gradually started letting him have contact again,” she said.

However, that changed when he started dating Pam, a “vegan influencer” who is “quite popular online.”

“I don’t know if Mark was trying to impress her or what, but last Thanksgiving he insisted that mom at least cook a vegetarian meal or they wouldn’t come on ‘ethical grounds,’” says Suspicious-Basil7882.

“My mom just wanted everyone to get along on her favorite holiday, so she agreed. It wasn’t a fun meal,” she said.

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This year, however, things are different. Suspicious-Basil7882 now owns her parents’ old house and her mother has health problems.

“My mom asked me to organize Thanksgiving so it would be business as usual. I told everyone in the group chat so Mark and Pam could make travel arrangements and Pam immediately started talking about all the vegan substitution recipes she could give me to replace the traditional to replace,” she said.

A Reddit user became conflicted after her brother said he wouldn’t attend Thanksgiving dinner if meat was served to attendees. (Adobe Stock)

Stunned, Suspicious-Basil7882 asked for a vegan main dish recipe, but told the family she would also make a traditional Thanksgiving meal in addition to the vegan options.

“Mark and Pam have been arguing with me about this for days and then Mark said if I didn’t make a meat-free meal they wouldn’t come,” she said.

She continued, “This upset my mother who asked me to just make what she earned last year to keep the peace, but I told her that Mark needs to get over himself and that I’m not coddling him. Thanksgiving.”

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The two said they won’t show up “if anyone eats meat at this meal,” she said. “If anyone is served meat, they won’t come.” The two also refuse to eat in restaurants that serve meat.

Suspicious-Basil7882’s father agrees with her, she wrote, but is concerned that Mark’s refusal to come to Thanksgiving dinner will have a negative effect on his wife’s health.

The family had a vegetarian Thanksgiving dinner last year, the Reddit user said, which was “not a fun meal.” (iStock)

“There’s a not-high but also not-zero chance that this is one of the last family vacations we have with her,” Suspicious-Basil7882 said. “My mother thinks I’m putting turkey before my own family, and I’m not so sure anymore.”

Suspicious-Basil7882 told Fox News Digital that she is considering taking a shift at the hospital where she works so she can cancel for a reason that doesn’t concern her brother.

“My mother would be disappointed, but she knows my job is demanding and necessary so she won’t be too angry,” Suspicious-Basil7882 told Fox News Digital.

And while missing Thanksgiving isn’t ideal, “eating turkey in the hospital cafeteria between emergencies sounds less stressful,” she said.

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A family therapist told Fox News Digital that Suspicious-Basil7882 is stuck in a “difficult situation,” where no one is likely to be completely happy no matter what happens.

“She is put in an unfortunate position where she must decide whether to appease her brother for her mother’s sake, or whether to stand her ground, knowing that she may feel guilty that her mother cannot enjoy the Thanksgiving she envisions,” says Rachel Goldberg. LMFT, founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, told Fox News Digital via email.

The Reddit user (not pictured) said her mother was very upset at the thought of her son not attending Thanksgiving. (iStock)

“There is no clear right or wrong answer. “It comes down to how important it is for her to prioritize her mother’s happiness and the idea of ​​family unity,” she said.

Suspicious-Basil7882’s internal struggle likely stems from wanting to show her brother that he shouldn’t dictate all the rules – which can be a big challenge among siblings, especially if she’s the one stepping back for the sake of harmony in the family,” Goudberg said.

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Aside from Reddit’s take on the situation, “in the end, she will still have to weigh the guilt of seeing her mother disappointed against the discomfort and resentment of appeasing her brother,” she added.

“If she chooses not to give in, that doesn’t mean she’s wrong or a bad person, but that doesn’t mean she won’t feel a lot of guilt when she sits down to Thanksgiving with a real turkey and a sad mother,” she said. Goudberg.

Mark puts tofurkey before family.

Reddit users largely agreed with Goldberg, saying that Suspicious-Basil7882 was “not the asshole” in this situation and that her brother was being unreasonable.

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“You don’t put turkey over family – Mark puts tofurkey over family. You’ve provided fair enough with a vegan option,” said Reddit user “CrimsonKnight_004” in the top-rated comment.

“Mark shouldn’t be holding the holidays hostage because of his own food choices. That’s ridiculous,” the same user added.