Miss Manners: What’s the right way to eat oysters?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please tell me the right way to eat oysters.

GENTLE READER: Do not believe those who advise you to swallow them whole. That is, unless you want your fellow guests to grab you from behind, or you’re desperately trying to remember what they learned in first aid class.

They’re slippery swear words (the oysters, not your colleagues’), they can be pierced with that little fork Miss Manners trusts you were given. You can even halve very large oysters with the edge of that fork, although it is not that easy. And no, you cannot use the shell as a spoon, except on very informal occasions.

(Send your questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)