Prince Harry Reaches Middle Age on His 40th Birthday

(LONDON) — Prince Harry has always been different.

From the moment he first appeared in public, nestled in the arms of Princess Diana outside the London hospital where he was born in 1984, Harry was the red-haired villain who stuck his tongue out at photographers. He grew into an exuberant adolescent who was harshly criticized for wearing a Nazi uniform to a costume party, and then into a young man who gave up the trappings of royal life and moved to Southern California with his American wife.

Throughout all this, there was a sense that Harry was rebelling against an accident of birth that, in the hard calculations of the House of Windsor, made him merely “the spare.” As the second son of the man who is now King Charles III, he was being raised as a prince, but would not inherit the throne unless something happened to his brother William.

Now the angry young man has turned 40, the halfway point in many people’s lives, and offers a chance to reflect on the past or look ahead to what can still be achieved.

For the past four years, Harry has focused largely on the past, making millions of dollars by airing his grievances in a hugely successful memoir and a Netflix docuseries. But he faces the possibility that the royal aura so central to his image is fading, said Sally Bedell Smith, author of “Charles: The Passions and Paradoxes of an Improbable Life.”

“He’s kind of at a crossroads,” Smith told The Associated Press. “And he seems to be struggling with how he’s going to move forward.”

How did we get here?

It has not always been this way.

Six years ago, Harry and his wife were among the most popular royals: an attractive young couple who reflected the multicultural face of modern Britain and were expected to breathe new life into the monarchy.

Their May 19, 2018, marriage united a grandson of Queen Elizabeth II with the former Meghan Markle, a biracial American actress who starred in the U.S. television drama “Suits” for seven years. George Clooney, Serena Williams and Elton John attended their wedding at Windsor Castle, after which the couple were formally known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

But optimism quickly faded after allegations emerged that British tabloids and even members of the royal family treated Meghan unfairly due to racism.

In January 2020, the pressures of life in the gilded cage became too much and the couple announced they were giving up their royal duties and moving to America, where they hoped to become “financially independent”. They struck lucrative deals with Netflix and Spotify as they settled in the wealthy enclave of Montecito, near Santa Barbara, California.

Since then, Harry has missed few opportunities to bare his soul, most famously in his memoir, aptly titled “Spare.”

Read more: These are the most shocking revelations in Prince Harry’s memoir ‘Spare’

In the ghostwritten book, Harry opened up about his grief over the death of Princess Diana, a battle with Prince William and his discomfort with living in his older brother’s royal shadow. From tales of cocaine use and losing his virginity to raw family rifts, the book was filled with damning accusations about the royal family.

Among the most venomous was Harry’s account of how some family members leaked unflattering information about other royals in exchange for positive coverage of themselves. The prince singled out his father’s second wife, Queen Camilla, and accused her of passing on private conversations to the media as she tried to repair an image tarnished by her role in the breakup of Charles’ marriage to Diana.

The allegations were so virulent that the chances of a return to public office are slim, Smith said.

“He criticized the royal family in such a powerful and damaging way. You can’t undo things like that,” she said. “And you can’t undo Meghan taking an apparent bow in that Netflix series. It’s such a demeaning gesture to the Queen.”

Harry, who agreed to stop using the honorary title HRH, or “His Royal Highness”, after stepping down from frontline royal duties, is now fifth in line to the British throne, behind his brother and William’s three children.

Although he grew up in a palace and is set to inherit millions of pounds (dollars) on his 40th birthday from a trust set up by his great-grandmother, applied developmental psychologist Deborah Heiser thinks Harry is in many ways just like the rest of us.

Like anyone who turns 40, he’ll likely have learned a few lessons and a good idea of ​​who his real friends are. That will help him chart the next phase of his life, says Heiser, who writes a blog called “The Right Side of 40” for Psychology Today.

“He’s very openly exposed what a lot of people have gone through,” Heiser said. “I mean, most people aren’t princes, but … they have all kinds of problems within their families. He’s not the only one. That’s why he’s so relatable.”

Harry’s Next Chapter

Of course, Harry’s story isn’t just about the drama within the House of Windsor.

If he wants to write a new chapter, Harry could build on his 10 years of service in the British Army. Before retiring as a captain in 2015, the prince earned his wings as a helicopter pilot, served two tours in Afghanistan and shed the hard-partying reputation of his youth.

Harry also received accolades for setting up the Invictus Games in 2014, a Paralympic-style competition to inspire and assist the rehabilitation of sick and injured service personnel and veterans.

Harry and Meghan made headlines this year for their two international trips to promote mental health and internet safety. While some in the British media criticized them for accepting royal treatment in Nigeria and Colombia, the couple said they were visiting at the invitation of local officials.

Will Charles see the grandchildren?

The prospects for reconciliation are unclear, although Harry did rush home to visit his father after Charles’ cancer diagnosis. And in what might be seen as a tentative olive branch, the paperback edition of “Spare” scheduled for October will contain no additions — nothing new to stir the pot.

But at this point, Harry is clearly thinking of his family in California. He told the BBC about the importance of his two young children, Archie and Lilibet.

“Being a father is one of life’s greatest joys and has only made me more motivated and committed to making this world a better place,” the prince said in a statement released by his spokesman.